Of mistakes, acceptance and time..

Time flies like fleeting clouds..
Before i even realise it..
It has been almost 3 whole weeks since my emotional breakdown.

I realised how much i have grown in these 3 weeks..:)
A very painful trip indeed but hey..
I came out alive didn't I?

Lessons taken away,
Memories forged,
Experiences developed,
I have changed again.

Ok, maybe not changed changed but my character has been further developed and 'honed'
Lol.
The amount of incidents that happened ever since is almost insane?

The fall-out of a relationship.
The fight for something called friendship- leaving it now in the hands of God- if it is meant to be, it will be..
The struggle.
The tears and all that pain, heartaches- both sides- unbalanced but both sides did have it alright- not denying it
The discovery of what i had put on halt- My life
Things that i have neglected- My health- i am eating extremely well now again :)
Re-discovery of what i really loved and have stopped then- Dance
Knowledge of who the true friends are- Got a taste of them and am thankful
Learning to let go- learning to think for the other party- not being selfish (ie, K, his stand, why he really thought in that way, learning to accept it and what he really wants now- space and time from me which might be forever)
Revamp of a friendship which was said to be doomed since 8 yrs ago- :), realise that i did not see V incorrectly after all. Care still there, and will always be..

Hopes for now (almost in terms of priority)
K to be fine, good mentally, emotionally and physically- being happy and not putting up a front- that will bring a smile to my face indefinitely- will be praying for that consistently for i cannot stop worrying= worryer, extreme care enthusiastic
My work to be able to progress to even further heights- welcoming more OTs, widening of jobscopes, alot more tears, frustrations- i am embracing them all..
Dance to move to another level as i always do when i have been through emotional struggles- for the showcase to be my time to shine
First time so many colleagues are coming!
I am excited, really excited alright..

Service today is awesome as usual.
Spoke to Aloy quite frequently recently- realised i made misjudgements!
He does have a good heart after all and not that jerk i made him out to be ever since i knew him more than a yr ago- Sorry Aloy!
And i even told him what i thought- being a jerk! LOL- Sorry Aloy! x2
Love how close he feels to God as well..
Our conversations have been more fufilling recently..
Involving more talks about 'proper' things, thanking God for an almost new-found friend
Ali thinks she is on a total diff wavelength with him now but i beg to differ..
Does that mean that i am on a diff wavelength with her then?
Wells, I think i am..haha

Recently, due to my over-working brain juices,
I started to put myself in alot of other pple's shoes and tried to understand their stands.
Certain decisions made, choices, time, and why they are in the way they are now..
I realised i started to understand more..
Being more patient

One very important thing that i have learnt as well.
It is never thinking what happened btwn K and i to be a mistake.
Yes, things could have been dealt better
But hey, who says life is perfect?
On the other hand, it could have been much worse?
I really did enjoy all my time with him, right from the very start,
The start from our first msn conversation when it all started as complete strangers
The moment our paths crossed

And ok, i am not stupid, i know K you might be reading this now, or you might be not.
But ultimately, me writing this is not writing what you want to hear.
But simply a method of penning down my thoughts- no expectations here, no pity needed, just the truth and nothing but the truth kies..
So be safe as you will always be remembered (i know i am making you sound like you are dead but you do get what i mean don't you..)

So big huggies now to everyone who matter to me.
You will all always be special in your own ways to me.
Always and will always be..