Good Luck

So I have decided to be selfish and keep him by my side.
I don’t deny that for the past few days..
There were times whereby I had full support and others whereby I push him away and run in a completely different direction.
I cant bring myself to let him be there for me, hurting, feeling the pain all coz of me.
What I have to go through..
Why does he have to be the one that have to weather all these?
It’s definitely not fair to him.
And neither will it be fair, to anyone else either..

So the last straw came today whereby I knew that he got angry.
He told me that he was glad that I am strong.
But also made it so clear that I am not to apologise.
He won’t run away even if I wanted him to.

This is freaking me out seriously.
How deeply I am falling..
And he is not allowing me to stop myself..
Nor to push him away..
Not to have any doubts..
Nor to stop hanging out..
To stop depending..

Good luck Char