Over the weekends

So much doubts, so much insecurity,
All settled and laid out in 2 days flat.
I am thankful for you.
Sometimes, i sit down and wonder if the problem laid with me.
That i wasn't giving enough security.
That i was the one creating the doubts.

Have faith, i always said.
But i do then again say things like,
Don't push me, i won't know what i will do.
How i will react.

Maybe i am just being a gal.
And gals are supposed to do things like that.
Are we?

I knew that being affected by V partially affected my health.
Like again.
No. It was not all coz of the cramps.
For on Friday, i felt awful, really awful.
Threatened to go back to how i felt in the past.
I was not very kindly reminded.
The tightness of the chest, the rapid but yet shallow breathing and almost to the pt of unspoken pain.

Maybe i am just being dramatic.
Maybe my body is just throwing a fit, just because.
You know how they say that the state of your mind affects your well-being?
I think this was what was happening to me alright.
With the mood down, everything, wells not everything,
But some things look bleak.
I don't know why but the doubts of others flood.

No wonder pple always say that health is the most important thing.
For without health, you can achieve nothing.
Nothing indeed.

Thanks K for being so understanding, so loving and so caring.
I really can't be asking for anything more.