And so I was told..

One of the many advices that I have been given when they discover that I do have a long- distance was

To take it easy
Do not overthink.
- The more you overthink, the more it will cloud your judgement and the more you will find for things to quarrel about

Lol..seriously,
Asking me not to overthink is almost like asking me not to breathe.
For as long as I can remember,
I have been overthinking.

Wells, you have to kinda understand that I was once in a stand for 6 yrs believing a bunch of lies.
Believing that someone cares
But in fact no
Believing that love was between us.
Not.
Believing that we do have a future together
Not.
Believing that it was circumstances that brought us apart.
Not.
Then believing that we will go back to how we were.
Not.
Believing that I should not be affected anymore.
Not.
Believing that I should not be crying anymore.
Yes.

Yes. Finally one yes out of a bunch of No’s’.
I promised myself that I will protect myself real well.
Giving no one the reins to hurt me.
Bubble-wrapping my heart so well that no one will be able to smash it.
No one will be able to pierce it.

They always say that if you don’t get hurt,
You don’t learn.
I wonder.

Sometimes, I really marvel at how stupid or silly (to be a more comforting word) to be such a stand for so long.
My endurance, ‘admiring’ from a 3rd party’s point of view is really admirable.
LOL.

Over the weekends, I thought a lot (like what is new right..)
I realised that I am already stepping into an almost forgotten zone.
The realisation that I have given K the ability to hurt me as he wishes.
Not that I am wishing for that though..>.<
Just the thought of it frightens me..
But yeah..
You get what I mean.

What I need now are..
Tonnes and tonnes of faith, understanding and lots and lots of strength.,