DJ

I was reading back at my past posts.
And I realised how much I was talking about DJ.
I have to admit that DJ was already part of my life..
To have his taken away from my hands, from me..
And totally disappear in my life,
I am not sure how am I gonna handle this.
I don’t think it really helped that the last time we met and talked,
I felt that we were one step closer,
Physically and mentally.
Ok, it doesn’t help at all,
In fact, I think its making me feel worse.

I am trying to keep calm.
There are just too many questions,
Too many possibilities as to what might have happened.
Pi had to further scare me that something might have happened to him.
I dread anything of that sort happening.

Your happiness kit is still safe in my bag,
Waiting for that one day that you will appear in front of me again..

I care for you, undeniably.
I want you safe irregardless of whatever.
Even if you do never appear again, I wish you happiness
I want you to continue God’s ways, to spread his love and smile..
Like what you did to me.

Thanks to you, I smiled heaps when I thought I was no longer able to smile.
I laughed unconditionally at your actions and words.
I was able to let you hold my hand eventually even though it was months later..lol
I enjoyed every single moment spent,
Even the temporary lost of insanity and lost of tempers.
I am sorry that I disappeared without telling you for a month coz I really thought that I did say so.

No more games,
I just want you to be safe.